Cool No Mo'

There was a time when I thought that I was pretty cool. I wore all the cute trends and understood why they'd be considered "in." Like most girls, I've always lusted after handbags and shoes.... but THIS I just can't wrap my head around:

BILL CUNNINGHAM (PHOTOGRAPHER) TOOK THIS PHOTO OF A LADY WALKING AROUND IN ITALY:

I can just see the ad for this shoe now: "Tired of getting the bottom of your shoes dirty? Attach a piece of drift wood to the bottom and voila! Problem's solved!"

That's right. You see shoes WITHOUT heels. Marinate on that for a second 

while we move on to the next conundrum...

CLUB BULB HEELS BY GUCCI

I looked at this shoe and actually thought, 

" What if someone kicked my lightbulb while I was dancing?"  

Seriously. What would I do then?

SHOES BY MARLOES TEN BHOMER (<---seriously?)

I'm no brain surgeon here but at some point, aren't you supposed to stop 

pushing in the Q-TIP when you feel resistance?

LUCKY 13 LIQUOR FLASK HEEL:

Made for those whose fashion cannot be hindered by trips 

to the nearest Qwikie Mart for a swig of tequilla.

and finally....

Sometimes... there are just no words.

I'm SO not cool anymore... and I think that I'm ok with that.