Sometimes Parents Just Don't Understand...
It's awesome being a mom. I can do just about anything:
- attend fancy tea parties.
- spontaneously dance in public without any judgment.
- keep a collection of fine art with nary a penny spent.
- enjoy free manicures and pedicures from beautiful girls.
- paint the bathtub with pudding....on purpose.
...But then there are other moments that bring me right back to reality....
The other day, Jailyn came home and told us a story about a boy who teased her at school. He was mean and relentless. The worst part was that he seemed to have convinced her that he was right. Though my first reaction was to say, "Tell me where this little $h!* lives...." I simply nodded quietly as she detailed out their exchange. While she talked, her eyes darted to the floor. She looked so sad and I felt so helpless.
Why would her classmate say something so hurtful and unkind? Why did he have to hurt her feelings for no reason whatsoever? I felt a sense of panic building inside of me. The truth is, I didn't know the answer.
As an adult, I can rationalize that these mean moments will pass. That in the long-run, her classmate's sour opinion of her isn't going to matter.
As her parent, I feel that Jailyn is destined to fabulous and nothing- not even a passing comment- will ever change that.
But when I was just a kid, NONE of it made sense. All I knew was that being bullied sucked major dragon butt.
After Jailyn was done, my kiddo paused and looked up at me. She stared intently- scouring my face for a reaction. I smiled and hugged her. For the next 20 minutes, we talked about all of the affirming things that I fervently believed to be true about my Jai. I allowed her to ask me questions and I attempted to answer each with honesty. I gave her advice on assertive retorts but ultimately left her with the final decision on how she's going to address her relationship with her classmate. And after we were done, her demeanor changed. She seemed to feel better. That night when I tucked her into bed, Jailyn hugged me and thanked me for listening.
I walked away with my own set of unanswered questions:
- Did I tell her all of the right things?
- Should I have handled this differently?
-Is there a way to scare that little boy without getting caught? (Just joking. Sort of.)
- WHY does parenting have to be so hard?
- attend fancy tea parties.
- spontaneously dance in public without any judgment.
- keep a collection of fine art with nary a penny spent.
- enjoy free manicures and pedicures from beautiful girls.
- paint the bathtub with pudding....on purpose.
...But then there are other moments that bring me right back to reality....
The other day, Jailyn came home and told us a story about a boy who teased her at school. He was mean and relentless. The worst part was that he seemed to have convinced her that he was right. Though my first reaction was to say, "Tell me where this little $h!* lives...." I simply nodded quietly as she detailed out their exchange. While she talked, her eyes darted to the floor. She looked so sad and I felt so helpless.
Why would her classmate say something so hurtful and unkind? Why did he have to hurt her feelings for no reason whatsoever? I felt a sense of panic building inside of me. The truth is, I didn't know the answer.
As an adult, I can rationalize that these mean moments will pass. That in the long-run, her classmate's sour opinion of her isn't going to matter.
As her parent, I feel that Jailyn is destined to fabulous and nothing- not even a passing comment- will ever change that.
But when I was just a kid, NONE of it made sense. All I knew was that being bullied sucked major dragon butt.
After Jailyn was done, my kiddo paused and looked up at me. She stared intently- scouring my face for a reaction. I smiled and hugged her. For the next 20 minutes, we talked about all of the affirming things that I fervently believed to be true about my Jai. I allowed her to ask me questions and I attempted to answer each with honesty. I gave her advice on assertive retorts but ultimately left her with the final decision on how she's going to address her relationship with her classmate. And after we were done, her demeanor changed. She seemed to feel better. That night when I tucked her into bed, Jailyn hugged me and thanked me for listening.
I walked away with my own set of unanswered questions:
- Did I tell her all of the right things?
- Should I have handled this differently?
-
- WHY does parenting have to be so hard?
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