40 Days
Some Catholics believe that the soul remains on the earthly plane for forty days before entering the afterlife - recalling how Christ ascended to heaven forty days after his Resurrection.
Today marks the 40th day since dad passed away.
We visited his grave to deliver multicolored gladiolas and roses. When we arrived, the 3 vases were already brimming with flowers and decor that my sister left just a few days earlier. The combination was nothing short of amazing:
After church, we went back to his grave ... and sulked some more.
Cali's unrelenting heat wave forced us to keep our visit short. We retreated to my Uncle Flor and Tita Mercy's house to celebrate dad's life with our extended family. Lots of food. Lots of family. Lots of laughter. Yet in spite of everyone's best efforts - the festivities were dwarfed by the painful fact that dad wasn't there to eat, laugh and BE with us.
Not gonna lie - it really f&^*ing sucked.
Only adding salt to the wound, Jolie displayed the first obvious sign of grief. I will never forget how her face lit up after seeing my Uncle Flor (who could pass as dad's twin) walking around wearing a salmon colored t-shirt. Jolie ran up to my uncle SO fast. She grabbed both of his hands and looked up at him. I could see her big, brown eyes searching for a glimpse of returned recognition. That's when she began to hop in place - waiting for Uncle Flor to do what my dad used to do. Dad used to joyfully clasp hands with Jolie and jumped around in dizzying circles until they both fell down laughing. Jolie kept staring - waiting. And as the seconds ticked by, I could see sad realization enter her expression. He was not going to jump. Though smiling, Uncle Flor was not overjoyed at the sight of her - not the way dad always was. He was not going to do any of those things bec. he is not the grampa she was hoping for. In spite of that, I painfully watched as Jolie trailed behind my uncle. Still waiting - still hoping. It was really more than I could bear. I left the room in tears. I realized - only then - that Jolie was NOT too young to feel his loss. In fact, her sense of loss was a lot deeper than I could ever even imagine.
Today marks the 40th day since dad passed away.
We visited his grave to deliver multicolored gladiolas and roses. When we arrived, the 3 vases were already brimming with flowers and decor that my sister left just a few days earlier. The combination was nothing short of amazing:
After church, we went back to his grave ... and sulked some more.
Cali's unrelenting heat wave forced us to keep our visit short. We retreated to my Uncle Flor and Tita Mercy's house to celebrate dad's life with our extended family. Lots of food. Lots of family. Lots of laughter. Yet in spite of everyone's best efforts - the festivities were dwarfed by the painful fact that dad wasn't there to eat, laugh and BE with us.
Not gonna lie - it really f&^*ing sucked.
Only adding salt to the wound, Jolie displayed the first obvious sign of grief. I will never forget how her face lit up after seeing my Uncle Flor (who could pass as dad's twin) walking around wearing a salmon colored t-shirt. Jolie ran up to my uncle SO fast. She grabbed both of his hands and looked up at him. I could see her big, brown eyes searching for a glimpse of returned recognition. That's when she began to hop in place - waiting for Uncle Flor to do what my dad used to do. Dad used to joyfully clasp hands with Jolie and jumped around in dizzying circles until they both fell down laughing. Jolie kept staring - waiting. And as the seconds ticked by, I could see sad realization enter her expression. He was not going to jump. Though smiling, Uncle Flor was not overjoyed at the sight of her - not the way dad always was. He was not going to do any of those things bec. he is not the grampa she was hoping for. In spite of that, I painfully watched as Jolie trailed behind my uncle. Still waiting - still hoping. It was really more than I could bear. I left the room in tears. I realized - only then - that Jolie was NOT too young to feel his loss. In fact, her sense of loss was a lot deeper than I could ever even imagine.
Comments