Painful Firsts

Mom and Dad celebrated their birthdays in the same manner every year: they'd wake up early, quietly eat breakfast, go to church then grab a quick lunch together - always together. Then when the weekend came along, our entire family would gather together and commemorate the day in a special way.

This year, mom welcomed her bday like this:

And as much as I wish that she was able to happily celebrate another year of life, I know that the fact that she was able to muster getting up is pretty darn remarkable in itself. But the truth is - my mom is a pretty remarkable lady. 

We ended the night at home with cupcakes and cuddles. Our puffy-eyed mom put on a happy face for the sake of her grandkids and smiled for pictures.

The truth is nothing outside of having dad around again could have changed her sadness. It is simply not what is not meant to be. So all that we can really do is to continue to go day-by-day and pray for the day when these moments will feel less excruciating. One day...

Happy Bday, Mommy. We love you always.