Hurry Up and Slow Down...

We've always been a household of overachievers - but this is getting ridiculous.  It feels like we've done more in the last 6 months than we have done in years. And just as we were just getting over the strain of the holidays, my entire family is gearing up to embark on a new set of transitions. More change - more to get used to.

I've been completely engrossed with a story about a 23 year-old girl who was brutally murdered outside of a club in Santa Ana.  Kim Pham was in line with her friends - then somehow got involved in a verbal altercation with a separate group of women.  According to local news, the exchange quickly escalated to a scuffle that ultimately led to her untimely death.  Within minutes, a light that took 23 years to develop was extinguished at the angry hands of 5 heartless strangers who senselessly beat her to death. Adding insult to injury, a crowd was present - but very few came to help. 

As someone who's recently experienced a battle between a loved one and an unfair opponent, I can only imagine the sense of loss that her death has left with the community that was built around her. As a parent to 2 little girls, I ached deeply for her family - especially her parents and siblings.  And though I could try to speculate on what her loved ones must be feeling, I know that whatever I come up with would only amount to a small fraction of what their pain is really like.  There is nothing worse than having to bury your child. Period.

This public loss brings much of my private anguish to the surface.  And if I let myself, this could take me to a place that I'm not ready to deal with yet.  So instead - I've decided to reset my expectations.  I am going to try to move forward with whatever lies ahead knowing that I cannot control everything.  I can only continue to love my family and give them all that I can, for as long as God will allow.